For those of you who don’t know, I’m gay… surprise! I’m sure some of you suspected it, but I know it’s not always completely obvious from what I’ve been told.
Ever since I was little, I knew I was different. I didn’t know how, but having two older brothers, I knew I was different from them. I really wasn’t into action figures, video games and sports like them, I liked legos, cleaning up after their messes and cooking with my mom.
Once I got into middle school, yeah I had “girlfriends” here and there but only because of peer pressure and I thought that thinking of someone as a good friend meant you liked them… I barely knew what being gay was, so how could I realize that I was?! Plus I was in 5th grade so I didn’t know any better. In the later years of middle school I was also bullied in and called “gay” all the time, so maybe that kind of played a small role of denial for a few years.
I came to terms with my sexuality my freshman year of high school and came out to a few of my closest friends. To say they least, they were all shocked since I’m not the feminine type and I really couldn’t be bothered with relationships, it always slipped my mind to tell people I’m gay… Even my family.
High school went by and wasn’t exactly enjoyable for me, and again, I never really pursued telling my family I was gay because it’s not like I was seeing anyone, and also they probably wouldn’t take it lightly. I just forget sometimes! Not that they wouldn’t accept me, but I hate when the attention is on me and that is exactly what it would bring, big time.
So, senior year rolls around and so does the summer entering freshman year of college. I told myself I was going to go to school and come out to everyone on day 1 so that I had no secrets and I could experience what it’s like to be open about y sexuality, and that’s exactly what I did!
Except one small problem, I still haven’t told my parents. I was supposed to tell them on move in day but, big surprise, I FORGOT. It was a stressful day and it slipped my mind! I’m planning on telling them soon, I’m sick of hiding. Me and my dad are very close and I just want to be able to text him about a gorgeous man that sits in front of me on the subway. Sounds stupid, but little things like that are important to me. I keep telling myself that they know already and it’s just a matter of me telling them, and I hope it’s true, but I truly don’t know. They can be clueless sometimes. Especially since about 90% of the people I’ve come out to had no idea, I don’t know if they’re included.
Moral of the story, self acceptance is the key to happiness and freedom within one’s life, if you can’t accept yourself you can’t expect anyone else to. Be free, and be happy. 🙂