Last night, I heard my dear friend Frank (I have to keep his real identity secret), say “if you want something in life, you make time for it.” He continued to tell everyone “indeed, there’s no such thing as someone in a rush, it’s only a matter of organization.”
These words made me instantly regret having made time to listen to him. People using “indeed” out loud are making me extremely uncomfortable. For some weird reason, I tend to run away from a speech punctuated by too many linking words.
Poor Frank obviously has no idea of what he is talking about. Therefore, (I just did it…) there’s a lot of simple folk out there spending their days telling themselves over and over again “where there’s a will, there’s a way!” They tend to think that a lot of things are impossible.
I DON’T HAVE TIME FRANK, I wanted to yell. I tried so hard to avoid this unnecessary and vulgar effusion, so I bit my tongue and stared at him, smiling, trying to get a better sense of what was happening.
I came to the following conclusion: Why would you put every ounce of fiber in your being to understand every detail of something, when you could stay on the surface of things and instead be “socially smart.” In reality this translates to knowing a little bit about a lot of things, just so you can talk about them at parties. Very, VERY important!
The number of things you know will make you shine in social settings, but you have to be very careful to not appear like a dispersed individual. The last thing you want is to lose all worth in the eyes of your audience. The shame will be so intense that you might be asked to leave the room by the people breathing in the same air as you.
If you have time on your hands, it means that you technically have time to study and get to the bottom of most things. Yet, it’s so nice to be able to put it off until tomorrow. This approach allows you to enjoy the present. And in essence, do nothing constructive. This is the reason why I came up with the AIN’T-NOBODY’S-GOT-TIME ATTITUDE.
The principle is simple: you are going to spread out enough clues in your attitude, your look, and your speech for your audience to think that YOU DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!! Careful though, you have to be the first one to believe that you truly don’t have time for that! Hesitation never convinced anyone.
Casually, and in the most natural way in the world, you will have to convince everyone that you AIN’T GOT NO TIME to:
- Finish your sentences. Who has time for that?
- Translate your ideas. Some words come naturally in French – do not translate them – you don’t have time for that.
- Take off your sunglasses when you walk inside. This is obviously such a waste of time. You’ll be back outside soon enough.
- Put away your phones in your pocket or bag when you are at a restaurant/cafe. They are ringing non stop, so why would you do such a thing?
- Call people by their name AND family name. Family name is enough. Nobody’s got time for both!
- Wear anything else other than running shoes. This will add to the general on-the-go look that your are working on.
- Put your coat on like an normal human being. Nobody’s got time for sleeves.