One of my favorite things to see on social media sites are posts about positivity: goal setting, self love, and finding happiness. I find that it helps when I feel like I haven’t done enough or as good as I could have on a project.
While looking on Amazon.com for a new ebook, I was suggested to purchase a book titled “This is How: Surviving What you Think you Can’t” by A. Burroughs. This might have been suggested because of my interest in psychology and the number of books that I buy on this topic.
The author begins the book with a story about an elevator ride that left him, in his own words, shocked, horrified, and enraged. Burroughs was on his way to his room in a hotel when a women got into the elevator, looked at him briefly, and said “It’s not that bad.” While he looked confused, she continued, “Whatever it is that happened, it can’t be as bad as it looks on your face. How ’bout trying on a smile for size. And if you’re all out, I’ve got one you can borrow.”
Two thoughts came to mind. His first was, “is it leaking out of me? People can see it?” The second was, “die b*tch.” Instead, he replied, “I’ll try.”
A little while after this incident, he looked on his newsfeed and saw a post: Self-help ‘Makes You Feel Worse’…A study warns that self-help mantras have the opposite effect.
The article covered research that Canadian scientist found on people with high and low self-esteem. First, those with low self-esteem actually felt worse after repeating positive statements. Surprisingly, they said phrases such as “I am a lovable person” only helped those with high self-esteem. They found that people with low self-esteem who had to focus on positivity felt worse because because they felt forced to think differently than what felt normal for them.
This may seem very strange to you, but a light went off in my head after reading this that possibly only the writer and I would understand!
From my understanding: People with low self-esteem are already aware of the issue… at least most are. They lack happiness and this is what they strive for. When they tell themselves, “I AM happy ” or “I AM the best” its almost as if they are lying to feel better. Telling themselves that they “are” when they aren’t can mislead the person and possibly make them question, “I am in search for this particular feeling, but I am telling myself that I already have it, what am I doing wrong?”