This week I don’t have a single cell in my body able to poetically speak on the wondrous world of music. In fact, I planned on blogging about my experience working on the set of Paradox Theory and my own project for FILM 101. Instead of all that fun stuff, I’m coming at you LIVE from my sick bed with tips on surviving the vicious plague that’s seeking out victims in the halls of NYIT. Let’s get started!
1. Shots, Shots, Shots…of Cough Syrup
Partying with Robitussin (use as directed)
I know you think you’re invincible, but shut up for a minute and pound back some cough syrup. Seriously, tame your virus dispenser before you doom your fellow classmates. It could mean the difference between a productive day of filming or being trapped in bed, praying for an end to the hacking misery.
2. Tea Time; All the Time
At this point, I would’ve been pleased with warm water and honey.
Earl Grey, Chamomile, Chai, Green, etc. I don’t care what tea you drink, just boil up a bucket load of water, throw in fifty tea bags, and drink it. I know what you’re thinking, “Zach, don’t you think that’s a little excessive?” Yes, but only if you plan on keeping your raspy voice intact to further your career as a blues singer. What I’m saying is, DRINK.
3. Fall Back
It looks like my fifth grade Mother’s Day gift is really paying off!
The worst of this virus happened to hit me on a trip back home while filming on location in the neighborhood I grew up in. I thought I would be able to hide it and press on without anyone noticing. In short, I was wrong and it ain’t so bad. Just settle down, you brave warrior, and take all the help you can get. I won’t judge you.
4. Come on Down!
Who needs a doctor when I’ve got contestants row?!
It is scientifically proven that your television emits all purpose healing waves of energy while programmed to The Price is Right. Don’t argue with science.
5. Rapid Eye Movement
Pictured: A living, breathing electric blanket
You need to catch some Z’s and float off into a dreamworld where the headaches, sniffles, fever, and soul crushing coughs can’t get you. More importantly, you need to recharge. I know we’re all trying to show the world who’s boss, but falling face first into your lunch isn’t a good look. That’s especially true if you happened to order some hot chicken soup to combat your sickness. Second degree burns are not fun.
6. “The Batman” or “The Dracula”
Putting fear into the hearts of criminals everywhere!
For God’s sake, stop coughing/sneezing into your hand! How often to do you touch anything with the inner part of your elbow? Never, you say? Me too! That’s why coughing/sneezing into your elbow is a bit more productive than launching germs onto the part of your body that you use most to interact with the world. So go ahead! Live out your fantasy of vigilantism or spending your nights preying on the innocent, all while you save us all from your sickness. Of course the subway is still a disease incubator, but no amount of Batman-ing will change that.
7. Get Your Fix
I’ve got no time for individually wrapped nonsense
So you think you’re tough enough to reenter society? That’s cool, but you better not forget your cough drops. I don’t mean five or six either. You better take the whole damn bag with you. Why? For one, it doesn’t hurt to have a surplus. Secondly, there will be cough drop moochers hiding around every corner and in every classroom. It’s hard to turn down a fellow patient, so do the right thing!
Feeling better yet? No? I’m sorry. I probably should have mentioned that I’m not a doctor and that I’m not necessarily of sound mind at the moment. You should probably see one of those doctor people. I hear they have great tips on treating illness.
Have any tips of your own? Well quit hogging all of that valuable information and share your voodoo in the comments!